Skinny Bitch

You know what confuses me? That Skinny Bitch, Bethenny Frankel. You know why? She's built a 240 million dollar empire and her drink tastes like shit! If you want a skinny margarita get a shaker, pour a nice tequila in there with a few squeezes of lime, shake it up, pour and enjoy.

Do you really need to buy it prepared? What is this? Skinny slash Lazy Bitch? I respect what she does and I might be a tad jealous, but no bitch ever got skinny drinking a prepared alcoholic beverage with agave nectar and triple sec. It's sick. And who can drink one 4oz cocktail anyway?!

Over the weekend my future Mother in Law, who calls my future Sister in Law Martha Stewart (it's true...it was a graduation party and one of the many things she did was roll up napkins with ribbon like little diplomas) was trying to figure out who I could be compared to since I am the designated salad maker.

All they could think of was the Skinny Bitch. I make bomb salads and I like to drink tequila on the rocks or vodka with soda water and lime so I guess Bethenny is my go to girl in the world of cooking and drinking who I would most aspire to be like. I don't watch her television shows but I hear she's annoying as all get out.

My fiance had a fun weekend of eating and drinking whatever he wanted and was asleep by 7PM on Saturday. Shocker. I can't believe I gave him till 9:30. I should have known better. I will say, having just come off the cleanse, it was nice to be super duper aware of my limits. Friday after dinner, everyone stayed up drinking and I went to bed. It was after 10 and we had to be up at 5 and after 12 days of cleansing I needed to rest. I slept like dookie because of course I gave into "vegetarian pinto beans." When will I learn?

Saturday I stuck with white wine at the party and intermittently drank waaaay to much Assyrian tea. So much so everyone was calling me Fred...that's my fiance's dad. He can drink that stuff and go right to bed; normally I avoid it after 3PM. I left with my FSIL's, aunts and one uncle for a nice walk on the beach and when we got back at 7, I realized, I'm done. I hung out with my future family people, and about 9 PM when the crew decided to hit the bars, I decided my esophagus was burning and my head hurt.

Needless to say I slept like dookie. Bad way to come out of a cleanse. Now I need to get right all over again.