Transformed

It is with much delight and happiness in my heart that I can report to you that my fiance is a changed man. After he ate and drank whatever he wanted to Friday night, all of Saturday and Sunday at brunch he didn't want to eat much of anything come Sunday afternoon and evening.

When we met his brother's and friends at The Kickin Crab to catch the Bulls game, neither of us ate a thing. Not surprising for me since I don't eat animals pulled out of plastic bags (or animals in general, although the corn and potatoes looked good -they were soaked in Cajun fish oil and most likely GMO) but very surprising for my fiance not to even eat so much as a fry.

He has finals this week and his very kind office manager has given him Mon-Thurs off to study, which is amazing. So yesterday he was around the house studying (for Statistics and Trig mind you) and ate all of the strawberries, a banana, some ikra (Assyrian dish consisting of grilled eggplant, tomatoes and spices) which was good but not as good as his uncle's.

When I got home from work, I quickly blanched some broccoli in my vegetable broth, sauteed a few cloves of garlic while the broccoli dried on a towel, threw it into a pyrex with some chopped tomato (Rumil helped with that), cilantro, feta cheese and of course, fresh cracked pepper, cayenne pepper and salad sprinkle and he ate some salad as well.

Today he studied a bit before heading to school to continue to study for his class and a final tonight. When he text me that he was about to head out I said, "Don't forget to take some snacks! Bar, banana, etc."

His response: "I did :) You transformed me ;)"

Of course that makes any Nutritional Counselor/health nut fiance extremely happy, especially after we watched Up last night and balled our eyes out starting within the first 15 minutes. That movie is not for children. Of course I couldn't stop crying thinking of my dad, my grandpa, my fiance, myself, and every widow out there.

I sobbed. And continued to sob for a bit even after it was over. Rumil cried with me. Life is scary. Death is scary. I don't want to die and have him live the rest of his life alone. What a roller coaster. It reminded me of when my mom died in the hospital when I was 21 years old and I decided I wanted to be alone forever because I didn't want anyone to have to lose a lover, a mother. Rumil is the first man I have loved since her death and that was 7 years ago. Somehow he penetrated my soul, broke my walls down and I love him deeply for that, forever.

Between that movie and reading Derek K. Miller's Penmachine blog http://www.penmachine.com/ which is sort of like the movie My Life only far longer and way more drawn out, I was a bonafied wreck. I tried to hide myself in the bathroom but I couldn't stop crying, plus I left the door open (bad habit) and he came and gave me hug as I was a hysterical mess on the toilet. He rubbed my back to console me and in between sobs I said, "I just want a good life for us." He agreed.

As we were standing there brushing our teeth I asked, "But what if I get the disease my Mom had and can't wipe my own ass?"

"I'll wipe it for you. And I'll wipe the tooth paste off your mouth. Wouldn't be that much different than now," he said with a smile.

I think we both are transformed; in our own ways we have let the love in and let the poison out.